literally had 100 drinks last night.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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