Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
