I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize