Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
