If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
