WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize