Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
