Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
