Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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