come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
