You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
