dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize