I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
