Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
