Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
