talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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