Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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