YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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