WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
