You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
