Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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