; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
