In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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