i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
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