I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
