She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
