dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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