How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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