I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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