playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
