i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
