She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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