i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
