you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
