She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
