I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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