I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
