I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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