Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize