Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
