Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
