Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize