Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
