I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize