But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
