I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
