erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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