White coat. Heels.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize