I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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