It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
