I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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