i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
