ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
