I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
