That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
