Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
