speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
