I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
