Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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