I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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