no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
