How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
