maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
