That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
