babies were throwing up all over the place
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
