You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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