You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize