butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
